Changing a Parent's Past Pain Into Medicine

By Klaus Klein MA, Registered Clinical Counsellor

Parents often want their children to avoid negative experiences, unwelcome situations, or even a trauma they themselves had gone through while growing up.

Parents can have firsthand knowledge growing up with the pain of:

• Divorce
• An unexpected loss or death in the family
• Bullying
• Heartbreaks
• Addictions
• Sadness
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Abuse
• Various degrees of trauma
• etc.

The best way to help your kids is to process and heal from your own past.

We cannot change what happened in the past but we can change the deep or buried impact the past has on us living in the present.

When we, as parents, do this we free ourselves from reacting when a similar situation confronts us.

Situations will confront us in our marriage relationships, work situation, or raising our kids.

When parents have done their own personal work they can be much more present, clear, and grounded when challenging situations occur, specifically dealing with young kids and teens.

It's not always possible to avoid a divorce, or a loss, or any of life situations that parents go through while raising kids.

However, parents can be there for their kids when a similar situation they went through growing up arises in the present that was unavoidable.

When parents have done their own personal work they not only get more peace with themselves, but gain wisdom and insight into how to be helpful to their kids through a disruptive or even painful time.

I've seen parents take the time to process and release their own fears, hurt, and disappointment from their own negative past.

The wisdom they gain from doing so allows them to be in the best position as an adult to come alongside their kids.

In this way they can guide, lead, and promote connection in a way that improves the relationship kids first have with themselves and then with others.

This is changing a parent's past pain into the 'medicine' (wisdom, clarity, centred, grounded) to help their own kids through a life experience.

That is the gift of changing a parent's past pain into 'medicine' for their own kids.

If you wish to learn more about how you can help your teens call for a free 10-minute consultation.

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Klaus Klein, MA, RCC
Phone: 604-786-0709
E-mail: Klaus@kdkcounselling.com

KDK Counselling services for the Burnaby area.